This simple question has been asked over the ages and has issued various responses which has set many lives on the pathway to greatness and bliss and at the same time plunged many into the depths of darkness and gnashing of teeth. But it was not so from the beginning.
Many ladies wait with strained ears and aching hearts for this question but never hear even the faintest sound of it - at least not yet. While many young men wish to ask this question but never find their voice because they have not found their feet – at least not yet, but it was not so from the beginning.
So many young people over many generations, times and seasons have spent their lives waiting, hoping and praying for a time that seem not to come, the saddest part being that they wait unprepared. It will be to some like the student in the exam hall that never had time to prepare for his exams, because he spent his time waiting. And to others it will be like a farmer waiting to harvest crops from his farm when he never spent time sowing – Oh how long will that “waiting” be? For at the end he will harvest nothing but weeds. It was not so from the beginning.
The question now is how was it done in the beginning?
FOR MEN ONLY
In the beginning God said ‘It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a help meet for him (Gen 2vs18)’. Now for the young man, God who has made you know that it is not good for you to be alone and he made it his responsibility to make you a help meet for you, but still he has an assignment for you.(find that in Gen 2).
For every young man is a garden to tend to; a group of animals to give direction to their lives and purpose to their existence as you give them names, you shape their destinies, you are able to do this when you recognize your leadership position over them and as you shape their lives by giving them names, you define your relationship with them.
In the process of His work, Adam and God did not find a helper that was right for him and so God caused him to sleep. Young men (Christian men) could you please allow God to cause you to sleep like Adam? It is then that you can allow him “make” an help that is right for you. Sleep, sleep, sleep, young man sleep, and let God make her for you.
We go about searching around, with the scripture in Proverbs……that he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing. The truth is, no matter how much you search; you will find nothing until the Lord has made her. But if you will sleep and let God work on you, you will we wake up and find her right in front of you. By sleep I mean finding rest in the Lord your God, trusting Him completely, and not to distract yourself from His work for searching prematurely. Jesus said watch and pray that you enter not into temptation. Yes “watch” but don’t forget to pray, many have forgotten to pray and have found themselves preys to strange women. The business of saying these words “will you marry me?” must be a partnership between you and God, where your duty is to trust God completely and drown yourself in His assignment for you, investing in yourself and in your future, knowing and working towards your God-given visions and goals, sharpening your leadership skills until God awakens you to find the help that is right for you. Who He has been preparing all this while to help you achieve those visions and goals He has given you.
FOR LADIES ONLY
Hello ladies, thanks for reading through the column for men only, it is now an open secret that 90% of the reasons you do the things you do is related to the topic “will you marry me?”. Yes you spend time/money making your hair, painting hands and feet, eyes and lips and lots more. Well, that may not be a crime, but it is not the type of preparation we are talking about. We speak of an adornment which is of the Spirit.
Sometimes I wonder how ladies, even Christian ladies, with artificial hair, artificial eye lashes, artificial nails, artificial skin colour etc – hope to attract real men. No, no, no, you will only attract artificial men. Yes, men with mock proposals, borrowed cars and shoes. It was not so from the beginning.
Let us go back to the beginning. In Gen 2, God Himself took up the responsibility to “make” the woman, “I will make …” it is the business of God to prepare you for marriage, but the problem is that many Christian ladies will not let God, they spend time panting and waiting, forgetting to invest in their spiritual, academic, economic and social lives. The period of GOD making the woman is the time in her life when she goes all out to add value to her life – first of all to get closer to that God that has the responsibility to make her develop a working relationship with God where you will hear Him clearly on what He will have you do with your life.
Secondly, you spend your time investing in yourself, acquiring skills, developing yourself. Many homes have been shattered because the woman knows not how to cook, or even carry out domestic chores at home. The book of proverbs tells us about the virtuous woman. Spend your time becoming like her, you cannot do this alone, but need the help of God, your maker.
Before you give a positive answer to the question “Will you marry me?” make sure it is not for the wrong reasons. Many people marry for the wrong reasons and this leads to a life of endurance, instead of enjoyment.
Even when you get to be asked this question, it is not an end in itself – but the beginning of a journey with God in prayers, where He directs you on the right answer to that question. Do not be in a haste to answer, do not be deceived by what you see , for many have come into the church pretending to be God’s children but truly are wolves in sheep clothing, and mind you, not every born again brother can be your husband, there is one that God has made right for you. Allow God show you that one.
It is my earnest desire and prayer that none of the daughters of Zion or the sons of God will make a mistake at the junction of marriage, but that all will be led by God, the author and finisher of our faith to a life of bliss.